I got kicked off a project once. First time in twenty-five years.

The feedback was simple: too slow. "Hit them over the head with a hammer." "Speed is the only thing that matters." "Escalate to their manager.”

As a project manager, my style was different. I knew the people that got stuck on my projects had real jobs and being on projects was extra work, so I took the time to build real relationships. It took longer, but it always worked. Always.

Until it didn’t.

I pushed back. "These people will deliver, they always do. We want the right solution, not just a fast one.”

Kicked off anyway.

I was 49 and sitting with the embarrassment and disbelief, feeling like I failed. Then, something unexpected happened. A thought crept in that I couldn't un-think.

I don't even care anymore. Like, not even a little bit. My career goals had suddenly narrowed to 'leave before traffic gets bad’.

Because while I was spending my days with people who didn't give a damn about me, my two young kids were at home wondering if we'd get to play outside before it got dark. I was having dinner with them at night, tucking them into bed, and calling that enough.

It wasn't enough. I was prioritizing the wrong people.

Here's the hard part. That corporate job paid for everything. We had the life I'd always dreamed of, the perfect house, stability, the credentials on the wall. The only problem was that I barely saw the people I'd built it for.

Golden handcuffs are still handcuffs.

I didn't walk away clean. I ruminated. I pouted. I tried to find the passion again. Maybe a new role, or a new company, a fresh start. The salary made it all possible and I knew it.

But that nagging thought kept getting louder and it was yelling at me.

"WHO GIVES A CRAP? THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!"

Then the company offered an early retirement package. I jumped at it so fast I nearly pulled a muscle. I figured I'd land at another company, pocket the severance, and grind it out somewhere new.

Then Covid hit and killed every job in sight. So I did what anyone does when the options dry up; I tried to build something. It didn't work. I lost a LOT of money. More than I like to admit.

Eventually I shuffled back to the corporate grind just to keep the lights on. I lasted two years before I got let go in the classic "we're downsizing" excuse. Honestly? I think they could smell the lack of caring all over me. I hated that second stint so much, I wanted to kick my own ass for saying yes! And honestly, getting laid off was the best thing that ever happened to me.

My smile returned almost immediately.

Here I am anyway. Still standing. Building side hustles I actually care about, trying to create something that's mine, and spending all the time I can with the people that actually matter. My wife and kids.

That's The Late Start. Come back next week and I'll show you how it's going.

Hint: Lots of failures. But I'm smiling every day.

It's not too late. Let's move.

— Dave Otani

The Late Start publishes weekly. Subscribe at daveotani.com.